Ashlishya va pada-ratam pinashtu mam.. Adarshanan marma-hatam karotu va..
Yatha tatha va vidadhatu lampato.. Mat-prana-nathas tu sa eva naparah- Sri Sikastakam by Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu
I know no one but Krishna as my Lord, and He shall remain so even if He handles me roughly by His embrace or makes me brokenhearted by not being present before me. He is completely free to do anything and everything with me, for He is always my worshipful Lord, unconditionally.
More or less that is also my state of mind as far as my devotion towards ‘Daivam Maanusha Rupena’, Sriram Sir is concerned.
Sriram Sir, through many amazing miracles, had time and again proved to His select followers – among whom I also happen to be one lucky one – that He is none other than Lord Sri Krishna Himself in human form
Personally, Sriram Sir had given me many small and big miraculous experiences ever since He took me into His divine fold on the 7th of October, 2000, thus proving to me that,
‘If only you have an eye for observation, then everything that you are seeing in Mother Nature – from the blossoming of a bud to the smiling of an infant in the bosom of a Mother – is a miracle”.. PEACE
Over a period of time, of course after going through many trials and turbulences in my life, spread over several painful years, I have finally realized that,
“It is Sriiram Sir Himself Who is ruling my life, designing my future and shaping my destiny and I owe my every millisecond of existence to Sriram Sir.
If it is Sir Who is giving me a solution today then it was Sir Himself Who gave me the problem yesterday; and if it is Sir Who is giving me relief today then it was Sir Himself Who gave me the pain yesterday.
Sir can never be wrong nor can be there any imperfection in Sir’s design.. Sir can never be questioned nor is Sir answerable to any force on this planet.. Sir can never be late nor can there be any delay in Sir’s justice.
Sir is the cause and Sir is the effect.. Sir is the test and Sir is the result.. Sir is the giver and Sir is the taker.. Sir is the Master and Sir is the forgiver.. Sir is the bestower and Sir is the redeemer..
Sir is the manifest and Sir is the unmanifest.. Nothing in this universe nor on this Earth moves or stops without Sir’s knowledge..”.. PEACE
Going through such a soul stirring enlightening process, I have slowly but thoroughly started believing, rather I was made to believe so, by Sriram Sir Himself, that, “whatever good, bad or painful He does to me in my life is only for my well being”..
Therefore, I have further started preaching myself that, “In my life, am neither the sufferer nor the beneficiary; neither the doer nor the seeker;
Neither am I responsible for the sins I am committing nor for the pardons I am offering; neither for my noble deeds nor for my unnoble ones; Neither for my achievements nor for my failures.
Neither for my thoughts nor for the results of that thinking; neither for my abuses nor for my blessings; neither for the words I am uttering nor for the letters I am writing; neither for my gains nor for my losses.
Neither for my pains nor for my pleasures; neither for my desires nor for my temptations; neither for my rejoices nor for my sufferings; and neither for my ills nor for my vices.
Every little deed, every little act, every little change and every little movement in my life or for that matter in anybody’s life on this planet or in this universe is apparently taking place only as per the will and design of Sriram Sir, the ‘Daivam Maanusha Rupena’ (God in human form).
Therefore, I shall never seek anything from Him nor shall I pray for any benefit from Him, because, I fully, truly and clearly know well that His love for me is not only eternal but is also unconditional and He would give me everything in my life, unsought and unasked”.. Om Tath Sath..
In spite of knowing so much about the crucial role that Sriram Sir is playing in my life and in spite of all that preaching that I do to myself about His divine presence all around me, I still fall into Maya – He sometimes tantalizingly casts before me – only to be baffled further more by His mystic persona.
One such Maya (delusion) filled miraculous incident had occurred in my life on Sunday the
27th Of November, 2016
Wherein Sriram Sir had proved to me “how I am still very far away from reaching that ecstatic state of complete desirelessness and unconditional surrender”.. PERIOD
Please go through..
As most of you readers are aware, on my request, Sriram Sir had given me time, for a day long meeting, to my readers of tirumalesa.com, on the 24th of December, 2016 in Hyderabad.. Immediately, after posting that article about this meeting – on the 22nd of October – I have started looking for an ideal venue for the same.
Honestly, I wanted the meeting to be held in an extremely good looking Hotel but at the same time at a very affordable place for all the classes of my beloved readers.. Therefore, without assigning the job to anyone else, I have personally started visiting, one by one, all the top class Hotels in Hyderabad..
In the process, I have visited many famous five star Hotels in the city like the Park Hyatt, Raddison Plaza, Raddison Blue, Taj Banjara, Green Park, Lemon Tree and many more three star Hotels as well..
However, I couldn’t find one single Hotel in Hyderabad that would suit my needs.. All these Hotels were either too expensive or not available that day.. I was shocked.. However,
In my view,
There was also one three star Hotel in Hyderabad wherein our other meetings of Sriram Sir are normally held.. These meetings are held once or twice in a year and are confined only to the regular followers of Sir.
To be on a firm ground, I have requested my friend, Satya Prasad, who conducts meetings at this Hotel, to block it for me just in case I don’t find any other Hotel for our meeting in December..
On the other hand, I was also occasionally calling Sriram Sir and keeping Him posted on my efforts for the venue.. During one such conversation, I told Sir,
“Sir, am personally visiting many hotels in Hyderabad but nothing is available for us.. Either they are too expensive or not available at all.. However Sir, I have asked Satya Prasad to block for me the same Hotel where we all gather for our regular meetings..
Literally, Sir, there’s no other Hotel in Hyderabad now left for me to see.. So, finding a new one now is almost impossible.. I think we may have to go only with our regular Hotel .. ”
I paused for Sir’s reply.. After waiting for a couple of seconds, Sir, much to my disappointment, had said,
“Aditya, the Hotel you are talking about is just Okay for our regular meetings.. Only we all, who know each other for many years, are meeting there and we don’t bother either about the size of the meeting hall or about the food served there.. Because, for us, meeting each other is more important than the beauty of the Hotel..
However, all your readers are newcomers who are going to see you and me for the first time in their life.. And this Hotel won’t be to their taste.. The meeting hall here is narrow and those sitting in the last rows can neither see us nor listen to us.. It’s better you widen your search and look for a more comfortable place”.
Although frozen, I could still say “yes sir” but I was sure it’s not going to be easy because “I have seen almost all the high standard Hotels in Hyderabad and there’s nothing left for me to see again.. So where to find a new Hotel now.. God.. ??”..
A million dollar question indeed.. However, I couldn’t dare to place my doubt before Sir just because I know He’s reading my thoughts and was giving me a hint too..
Here, at this point,
I need to tell you all a few vital and important points about Sriram Sir..
“Unlike many big and renowned God men and God women, Sririam Sir doesn’t ask you to do that and this and also doesn’t give you any false hopes nor tells you about what is in store for you in future..
You don’t find any air around Him nor any big set of followers.. He always would love to remain a simple face in the crowd and stays away from all the attention..
Wherever He goes, He travels all alone and doesn’t even try to give you a feeling that there’s something special about Him.. Although He knows everything about the past, present and the future, He will never reveal it to us..
Since He’s in a human form and never reveals nor confesses His Divine status, He makes sure that all the conversation with Him will always be like a normal conversation between two human beings..
He keeps everything so simple.. In a plain voice, He discusses about every small detail like pen, paper and Tea and also asks us to be as meticulous as possible in everything we do in our life..
All of His followers know well that our Sriram Sir had kept all our tests results ready but wouldn’t reveal them to us.. Not only He enacts the human drama to perfection but also makes sure we play our characters to precision.. True qualities of God”.
He once told me, “Aditya, silence, solitude and sorrow are my only properties and I don’t want anyone to steal them from me and make me poor”..
How humble..??.. If that is so, what can a poor human being like me say.. PERIOD
Now, let us come back to the main story..
After that conversation with Sriram Sir that day,
I have realized that Sir had kept a beautiful venue ready for our meeting but is only testing me to find it on my own..
Later, leaving everything to Sir, I have broadened my search and had stated involving my friends as well to help me find a suitable venue for our meeting.. But quite surprisingly, not even one of them could find at least a reasonable hotel for me.
It was then I started feeling the heat and started panicking too.. Because, the time for the meeting is nearing and all those readers who have send me mails, from different parts of the world, are waiting for my updates.
What to do.. ???.. Suddenly, many doubts have started entering my mind.. I started literally breaking my head although am sure, in the remote corners of my mind, that,
“My beloved Sriram Sir had certainly kept an ideal venue ready for me and He shall show it to me at an appropriate time.. Until then I should just keep trying and do nothing else”.
Heightening the Cosmic Drama furthermore in my life, my beloved 92 – year old Dad had fallen terribly sick and was confined completely to his bed, to his servant and to his bed room.. He was not even recognizing any one of his nine children..
He was just giving us vacant looks and silent smiles and was not responding to even our simplest questions.. It was during those most painful moments of my life, that I have quietly realized,
“My Dad’s most vital body functionalities have started bidding good bye to him and more or less his final journey – to that distant undiscovered country from whose bourn no traveler had ever returned – had just begun”.
What painful moments for any loving son.. ?? ..
And during those moments, in the first week of November, 2016, I have told myself that, “I may never see my Dad again in this life.. So let me make it a point to visit him as often as possible and spend a couple of hours with him almost every evening”..
As a sad result, all my works have taken the back seat and my Dad’s health had, quite naturally, became my first priority..
Gradually, my Dad’s suffering had become too immense for him to withstand and too intense for us to see.. I have slowly yet philosophically came to a conclusion that,”My Dad is nearing his end and only death can give him complete relief..”
But when..??.. I know only a call from Sriram Sir would provide my Dad’s soul the final release from his painful body and from this sinful world.. Until then, I know, his soul would be clinging to his body giving him enormous suffering..
I have witnessed this in case of my Mother and she only got that “final relief”, in 2005, after Sir spoke to her just a few minutes before her last journey to the other world..
The same thing has to happen now with my Dad as well and Sir should speak to him rather my Dad should listen to Sir’s voice until which time my Dad may not be granted the release order by Sir from his pain filled last stages.
After a lot of hesitation, I have finally called Sriram Sir, on His mobile, on the morning of 14th November just to share with Him my Dad’s condition.. However, to my utter disappointment, His mobile was switched off..
From the Kannada voice of the service provider, I was able to know Sir was in Banglaore that day.. Then, I silently told myself, “relief to my Dad is not yet round the corner”.
In the meantime, there was a slight improvement in my Dad’s condition and he was stable for the next three days..
However, he suddenly started gasping for breath,
On the morning of Friday, the 18th of November..
Then I realized “these are my Dad’s last moments”.. All our family members were around him.. Time was moving.. So was life from my Dad’s body.. He was waiting.. The Doctors were waiting..
We were all waiting.. With prayers on our lips and tears in our eyes.. Then I slowly walked out of the room and dialed Sir’s number.. My goodness.. The phone was ringing.. But, unfortunately for me, Sir didn’t pick my call..
Disappointed again.. “God, what to do..”.. I asked myself.. Then I noticed that,
“My Dad was sinking.. Was moaning with an unbearable pain and with an indescribable misery”.
None of us could remain calm.. We were all doing our best to offer our Dad whatever little relief we all could offer.. Our family Doctor came and left immediately, saying, “except waiting there’s nothing that anyone can do now”..
Since that was what we all have thus far been doing, we continued our waiting.. Waiting.. And waiting.. And more waiting.. With prayers.. And.. With tears..
At about 5.30 in the evening..
Suddenly my mobile rang and I found, “Sriram Sir calling” on the display screen.. I quickly responded to that call with a “good evening Sir”..
Sir said, “Aditya, I think you called me in the morning.. I was in a seminar and phone was kept silent..What’s the matter..”
I have explained Him my Dad’s condition and requested Him to utter a few words in my Dad’s ears.. He smiled and said “okay”.. Then I reached my Dad’s bed and placed my mobile beside his right ear..
Sir started saying something to my Dad.. Dad was just blank and silent.. We all stood in still silence.. There wasn’t any response from my Dad to Sir’s words except stoic silence..
After finding, after a few seconds, that the most important task in the life of my Dad is accomplished, I have slowly reached my Dad’s side and took away my mobile back from beside his ear and quickly walked out of the room and thanked Sir for His love for my Dad..
At 10.08 a.m on Saturday, the 19th of November, 2016
My beloved Dad had breathed his last and left his family; left his beloved Balu; and left this world.. Sir, despite His tight schedule that day, had personally visited our house to pay homage to my Dad and had spent a few precious moments with our family members.
Looking at my Dad’s body, He told me, “Your father lived his life.. I understand your pain.. However, you must he happy that he’s going to be born as a child again and enjoy all the Mother’s love.. Be happy that he is once again going to enjoy all that a child enjoys”..
Later, Sir took leave from all of us and started taking down the steps..
I accompanied Him up to His car..
Pausing there and then turning to me,
He asked me,
“Aditya, are you mentally prepared for the meeting on 24th December..??”..
“Yes sir.. It is equally important to me..”..
At that point..
The actual conversation..
‘Ruthless Cosmic Drama He Played With Me On The 27th Of November, 2016 ”
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