“Of all creations I am the beginning and the end and also the middle, O Arjuna. Of all sciences I am the spiritual science of the self, and among logicians I am the conclusive truth”.. Sloka 32, Vibhuthi Yoga, Bhagawad Gita

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Chandra, through challenging situations,

I teach you how to question.. Through grave problems, I teach you how to learn new lessons of life.. Through ill health, I teach you how to protect yourself from diseases.

Through accidents, I teach you how to be cautious in life.. Through monetary losses, I teach you how to be alert in dealing with money matters.. Through deaths around you, I teach you how to value your life..

Through broken relationships, I teach you how to be cordial in relationships.. Through disappointments, I teach you how to muster courage.. Through pain, I teach how to be contented with life.. And through sorrow, I teach you how to philosophically accept the vagaries of life and people around you.

Unfortunately Chandra, you failed to understand these important life lessons am teaching you for your well being but you could clearly understand the lessons that were rigorously taught to you at IIT.. You slogged so much in IIT just to know you know nothing about life.

Therefore Chandra, you passed out from IIT with flying colors but failed in my lessons and quitting the world today with miserable failures.. Where is the mistake Chandra.. Is that in my teaching or in your understanding of my teaching..??

All though your conversation, you have been telling me you are a great devotee..

Agree Chandra, but you failed to realize that a devotee like you, with mere spiritual knowledge, sees me only in the deities of Temples and performs many rituals, whereas, a devotee with spiritual enlightenment sees me everywhere, in everyone, in everything and never gives importance to spiritualistic rituals.

Therefore, Chandra, you have always vacillated between to be or not be and to do or not to do whereas an enlightened devotee always performs his duties without worrying much about the result.

The secret of a successful man lies not in his relentless efforts but in his ability to remain calm during a storm and to smile while in distress.. Of course, I agree Chandra, you were good but you were never wise.. You were noble but you were never generous.. Therefore, you encountered so many problems in life.. So.. ”

Bhagawan was about to say something more here, but a fully disturbed Chandra had interrupted Him, with a broken voice, saying

“Swamy, O’ jagannataka sutradhaari.. You have not given us free will.. You have also made everything in our life, predetermined.. When You are the Doer and You are the Redeemer and when everything is predestined in our life, then, how am I responsible for either the good karma or the bad karma that I have performed in this life, Swamy”.

Here, smiling gently, 

At the innocence of Chandra – just like an ever loving father smiles at the innocence of his child’s silly questioning – the merciful Bhagawan said,

“Yes Chandra, you are right.. I didn’t give free will to humanity and designed everything, in a human’s life, the way I want to.. I have also made everything so predetermined.. But, do you know why Chandra..??

Because, am your Creator which means am also your Father.. Not only yours but also of this entire creation in the universe.. Then, whose responsibility does it become, Chandra, to take good care of his children.. A father’s or the child’s.. ??.. Obviously the Father’s.. Right..??..

So, I kept all things under My control and My discretion and gave you everything when you needed them the most not when you wanted them the most.. I have not given the ability to a human brain to know the right time to seek and the wrong time not to seek which is why am giving everything to humans unasked not when asked.

Am doing so, Chandra, just because I want to make sure that everything is in place and order for my child at the most opportune moment of his life.. I take utmost care about my child just like a human Father takes about his children.

Now, let me explain,

Why am I doing all this, Chandra..

Am doing so, because, I can see many things you cannot see.. Do many works you cannot do.. Accomplish many tasks you cannot accomplish.. Achieve many greats you cannot achieve.. Build many structures you cannot build.. Establish many kingdoms you cannot establish.. And measure many heights you cannot measure..

The thoughts you get in your mind; the words you speak during a conversation; the plans you make for your survival; the deeds you perform in this world; the responsibilities you take up for your family;

The respect you have for your elders; the devotion you have towards Me; the love you have for your beloveds; the hatred you have for your not beloveds; the success you get in your career; the failures you face in your life; and the results of all your good karma and bad karma are all because of Me.. By Me.. And for Me..

Is that clear, Chandra..??

Of course, you may see, you may speak, you may work, you may plan, you may achieve many great things in life, however, everything in your life happens according to My will, My wish and My scheming.. Nothing belongs to you; nothing is yours.

In a way, you are like a doll in a stage show in the hands of a Ventriloquist.. Although it is the Ventriloquist who does everything on the stage, he still gives an impression to the audiences that the doll is doing everything.

Similarly, like a Ventriloquist, am doing everything on this world stage, Chandra, using you all as Dolls and giving the same impression to you and also to your fellow beings that you are the doer and you are doing everything.

This impression in Cosmic language is called ‘Maya’ or ‘Delusion” that blinds the best of eyes and baffles the best of brains.

Now, just imagine,

I have given you free will, without providing anything in Nature and without keeping anything under my control, allowing you to lead life the way you want to asking you to acquire everything in Nature on your own.

Do you want to know the consequences, Chandra..??

To begin with, let me tell you about Oxygen which is the most essential element of Nature,  vital for your living on Earth.. On an average, a human body needs about 550 liters of Oxygen, everyday, just to live.

Now, can you guess how much money each individual has to spend just in case I ask him to pay for that Oxygen.. You may be shocked to know, Chandra, but each and every individual has to spend more than six million American dollars per year just to procure that amount of Oxygen to keep him alive for just one year.

How many people can afford that money just to buy Oxygen, Chandra, which am now giving free of cost to all, without seeing who you are, which country, caste or creed you all belong to.

Another important point, Chandra..

Do you know that your human eye is worth a 576 mega pixel Camera.. What money am I collecting from you for giving such an expensive camera.. And what tax am I collecting from you all for giving you light through the Sun; rain through the skies; and electricity through water and winds.

If I had granted you free will, without giving you all these vital elements through Nature, you all would have gone maniacal by now trying to acquire knowledge of each and every dimension of every little task that you have been assigned with; and every little duty that you are asked to perform.

I hope, Chandra, you are understanding what am talking.. Now, for a change, let me talk the language you engineers easily understand..

Suppose you are constructing a house.. What are the materials you first need for the construction..??.. Water, Cement and Bricks.. Right..?? As I told you, am not there behind you and had not given you anything through Nature.. Then, how are you going to create water, Chandra ??..

Where from will you bring Hydrogen and Oxygen needed to manufacture water.. Where from will you bring the Clay needed to manufacture Bricks..??. And where from will you bring the Lime Stone needed to manufacture Cement..??..

All the human power and all the human intellectual energy put together cannot create a bit of these priceless properties of Nature that I have created free for the well being of humans without your asking.

Now, let me talk about your computer technology, on which you all humans are so blindly depending today for your survival.. You have done your Master’s in Computer Science and shall find it more easy to understand what am trying to say.

Chandra, if am right, you use semiconductor devices like transistors, diodes and integrated circuits in Computers.. These devices are made up of semiconductor materials like Silicon and Germanium.. Right..??

Now tell me Chandra.. If I had given you free will and asked you to acquire everything on your own where from will you acquire Silicon and Germanium, the two more essential ingredients of Nature that I have safely hidden in Earth’s crust for humanity’s benefit..??

Your entire humanity would have spent thousands of years just to acquire the much needed knowledge about these conductors, insulators or semiconductor materials, because, right from civil engineering to computer engineering to aeronautical engineering to rocket science to space technology, Silicon is the main ingredient used in some way or the other.

At least now, do you understand, Chandra, why I have covered twenty five percent of the Earth’s crust with Silicon, the most essential ingredient of Nature.. Imagine what would have happened if I had not given you Silicon at all.

You all humans would have gone mad, searching for Silicon, for hundreds of thousands of years.. Now, tell me, Chandra.. Is giving free will to humanity good or bad.. Who knows it better.. I or you..??

Finally, another most important point, Chandra..

Before creating human beings, I have first created many facilities for them.. I have stored millions of invaluable resources in Nature for them to benefit from; stored many medicines to study and derive cures; many solutions to find for their problems.

Lastly, I have inserted a super speed Micro Processor chip, called brain, into every human being’s head not only to help them identify these hidden treasures of Nature but also to enable them process and comprehend enormous data they would be receiving in their day to day life.

Chandra, with all the information I have so far given you, you must have realized that your Scientists haven’t invented anything new today but have only discovered what I have already stored in Nature for the mankind.

That means, Chandra, Am present either visibly or invisibly; either understandably or un understandably in every little theory your Scientists have formulated, every advancement in your technology, and in every little new product that your modern world has developed.

Now, just show me one product invented or discovered on this planet, Chandra, in which my presence is, either noticably or unnoticably, not present.. Agree..??

After agreeing so, do you still want to ask me, Chandra, why is that I have not given free will to humanity and why is that I have made everything in human life predetermined..?? Speak out Chandra.. It’s now your turn”.

Saying so, Bhagawan Venkateswara had paused and started looking straight at Chandra.

Chandra was in a trance..

He was in a stupor..

In a semi conscious mind..

In a semiconductor mode..

In a much deeper shock..

Not with what he had listened from the Bhagawan,

But with the ease, Bhagawan had spoken about subjects that took years for him to master.

Hence, Chandra was speechless..


At that very moment..

All the Gods, Goddesses, Kinneras, Kimpurushas, Gandharvas, Saints and Sages were all looking at Bhagawan, with awe and wonder, for the lucid and meticulous way He had presented all His views to Chandra on varied topics.

After a few more seconds of absolute silence, the merciful Bhagawan, understanding the poor Chandra’s predicament, had said again, “Come on Chandra.. Speak out”

This time, slowly waking up from his trance more so from his stupor, Chandra had lifted his head and raising both his hands and offering his humble ‘Namaskar’ to Bhagawan, had said,

“Mahaa Perumale – O’ sarva devaika saranaa, O’ Sarva kaarana kaarana, O’ Saranaa gatha vatsala paarijaata, O’ achyuthanantha govindo vishnur venkata nayaka, O’ adi madhyantha rahitaa, O’ sarva devaika daivathaa – I now understand why You are also called the Omniscient, Swamy.

You are not only the Creator of this Universe but also the Master of all knowledge in this universe which is evident from what You have now spoken.. Am speechless, Swamy.. I thus bow to thy holy feet.. Please accept my salutations”.

Bhagawan smiled and so did all those great Divine personalities around Bhagawan Sri Venkateswara who were all quietly watching their Supreme Commander’s Cosmic Play on top of the sacred Venkatachala hills.

Chandra continued, “However, Swamy. please forgive me and explain me one most important point which am still unable to understand.. May I ask You now, Swamy.”..

Bhagawan, with the same gentle smile dancing on His coral lips, nodded His head in affirmative.. Saying, “thank you very much Swamy”, Chandra said,

“Swamy, when everything, I mean our thoughts, our deeds and our words are all under your control, then, how can I or any human being for that matter be held responsible either for our good karma or for our bad karma, Swamy.. That too, as you say, when we are like those mere dolls in the hands of a Ventriloquist..??”

Chandra paused for a reply from Bhagawan..

Bending slightly forward and looking deep into Chandra’s eyes, the Bhagawan replied,

“Chandra, unless it is again predetermined or unless it is so destined by me, no human being will ever be able to know either about the absence of free will in this world or about the existence of pre determinism.

I have not granted this knowledge or wisdom equally to all.. Which in simple terms mean, only those who are destined to know about pre determinism shall know about it and those who are not shall never not.. This is my first point.

Now, coming to your point.. As I said before, behind every act of Mine there’s a purpose in the beginning and a poetic justice in the end.. So, there’s one behind your story as well.

Unless you had gone through all that you had so far gone through in your life, you wouldn’t have come this far to Me.

Unless I allowed you to make those mistakes – which you say am holding you responsible – in your career, so many questions wouldn’t have born in your mind.

Unless there are questions in you, you cannot draw answers from me.

Unless I had given you pain, you will not be able to search for new ways.

Unless I had given you sorrow, you wouldn’t have developed the desire to die.

Unless you have developed the desire to die, I couldn’t have made you come to Tirumala.

Unless you had come to Tirumala, you wouldn’t have had a chance to see Me in your life.

Unless you had seen Me, you wouldn’t have learned so much about birth, death, devotion, concept of God, philosophy of life, free will and pre determinism from Me.

Unless, you have learned all these intricate subjects of spirituality from Me, not many in the world would have known about these unknown topics through you.. In a way, Chandra, I have chosen you as a vital tool to convey to the human world many hidden aspects about many unknown divine topics.

Therefore, Chandra, your being born, your being trained in IIT, your being exposed to problems in life, your being committing mistakes, your being a failure in career, your being a defaulter to loans,

Your being a victim of depression, your being decisive about suicide, your being taken to Tirumala, your being blamed by Me, and your being held responsible for all your mistakes in life have all happened according to the drama designed by Me and you have absolutely nothing to be blamed for your role in this drama, Chandra”.

Saying so, Bhagwan paused here for a few seconds.. Then in a low tone asked Chandra looking straight into his eyes..

“Now, tell me Chandra.. After listening to all this from Me what is that you finally want from me.. Life or death..??.. If you say life I shall send you back to Chennai.. You can lead life from where you have left it there.

Just in case, you say ‘death’ I shall immediately release you from my “Digbandhanam’ and then you shall, in one by tenth of a second, fall directly into that deep valley of death and disappear.. Tell me Chandra.. What do you want.. Life or Death..???”.

Wind stopped blowing..

Sound succumbed to silence..

Every element of Nature..

Every God and Goddess;

Every Angel of God..

Every Sage and Saint..

Every little creature on the Venkatachala Hills..

Even the Ashta Dikpalakas..

Have stopped everything, they were thus far doing, and remained looking at Chandra for his reply..

Chandra, first looked at every divine being around him for a few silent seconds..

Then, looked silently at both his palms for a few more seconds..

Then, boldly lifted his head,

Looked straight at Bhagawan Sri Venkateswara,

And said in a firm tone,

“Perumale, if every thought that is born in my mind and every word that I speak owe their birth to you, then this decision of mine too I consider Your decision.. Now, I have no desire to live, Swamy.. I want to die.. Please emancipate me from Your ‘Digbandhanam’ and grant me death.. As quickly as possible”.

Everything and everyone there on the Venkatachala Hills was frozen..

Looking quietly at Chandra, the Bhagawan said,

“Fine Chandra.. As you please I shall grant you death.. However, since this is not a natural death it would be registered as a suicide in the cosmic records..

Therefore, as a last chance, it is my duty now to tell you what exactly will happen after a person commits suicide; what exactly he goes through in the Cosmos; and what exactly happens to his soul..

At least, after listening to these divine secrets from Me, which are so far hidden from the humanity for ages, not only you Chandra but also any human being shall ever commit suicide in his or her life.. Are you ready Chandra..??”.

The Bhagawan was about to reveal those divine secrets to Chandra but had to pause as Lord Yama – the Hindu God of death – had suddenly stood up and said, “Sorry for the interruption Bhagawan..

While paying my obeisances to You, it is also my duty to humbly remind You that these are Divine Secrets the humans are not eligible to hear.. So, I request You to please refrain from revealing them to this human being”.

The Bhagawan smiled and said, ‘Yama, I know you are right but secrets are not meant to remain in secrecy forever.. They have to come out one day at least when we realize they are going to help a cause.. Chandra may change his mind after listening to what I say and may go back to life”.

Saying so, Bhagawan turned to Chandra again and said..

A Few Interesting Points

Recently, an Indian lady living in America had told me, “One day, I have decided to quit the world, after going through a lot of pain in my family life, but just that evening saw the first part of your story on the suicide of the Chennai techie.

Found it very interesting, so, thought I shall quit after reading the conclusion of the story.. But you never keep up your word and are not completing the story.. Now, I have lost interest in suicide and eager to know what finally happens to Chandra”..

I laughed loudly and said, “if that is the case, I shall never conclude this story”.. She too laughed loudly, I believe after several months, and said, “No, no.. Please conclude.. Else many readers may die unable to bear with the suspense”.. I disconnected the call.. PERIOD

Please Click Here to read the concluding part of this story.

“Samastham Govindaarpanam”


Narrenaditya Komaragiri



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