DISCLAIMER : This is not a true story but a modern day story that’s loosely based on a real life incident that occurred on the Tirumala Hills, about four hundred years ago, when an old aged depressed Brahmin went up the Tirumala Hills weeping.. What happened later in his life forms the crux of my modern version of that true story..

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Looking quietly at Chandra,

Bhagawan Sri Venkateswara said, “Fine Chandra.. As you please I shall grant you death.. However, since this is not a natural death it would be registered as a suicide in the cosmic records..

Therefore, as a last chance, it is my duty now to tell you what exactly happens after a person commits suicide; what exactly he goes through in the Cosmos; and what exactly happens to his soul..

At least, after listening to these divine secrets from Me, which are so far hidden from the humanity for ages, not only you Chandra but no human being shall ever commit suicide in his life.. Are you ready Chandra..??”.

The Bhagawan was about to reveal those divine secrets to Chandra but had to pause as Lord Yama – the Hindu God of death – had suddenly stood up and said, “Sorry for the interruption Bhagawan..

While paying my obeisances to You, it is my duty to humbly remind You that these are Divine Secrets the humans are not eligible to hear.. So, I request You to please refrain from revealing them to this human being”.

The Bhagawan smiled and said, ‘Yama, I know you are right but secrets are not meant to remain in secrecy forever.. They have to come out one day at least when we realize they are going to help a cause.. Chandra may change his mind after listening to what I say and may go back to life”.

Saying so,

The Bhagawan turned to Chandra and said,

“Dear Chandra, listen to every word I would be speaking from hereon, carefully.. This will clearly help you in understanding death in many ways, more so, the new life a soul would begin after death.

As you all human beings think, Chandra, your body doesn’t belong to you.. It belongs to me.. I create both the soul and body and then place the soul in that body.. Thus, your human soul becomes a temporary resident in your human body.. However, neither the body belongs to the soul nor the soul belongs to the body.

If I have to keep everything simple, Chandra, then, let me put it this way.. Your body is like a rented house in which your soul resides as a tenant.. Other than that, there isn’t any relationship between the two.

As the absolute owner of both these properties – the soul and the body – only I will be having the right to build them or destroy them whenever I want to or however I wish to.. The body is always destructible but the soul is indestructible except by me – The Absolute.

Whenever I feel the time has come for me to demolish a body, that is housing a soul, I shall do so, in my own way, without giving any prior intimation either to the body or to the soul.

Once I demolish a body, the soul leaves that body; travels from the terrestrial world to the celestial world; merges with the five elements of Nature; and would remain so, until I take any further action.

On the contrary, 

If someone like you tries to destroy a body, by forcibly killing himself, I won’t be sparing that person at all.. I shall punish him pretty badly without even looking at what punya karmas he had performed in his life.

That person, by committing suicide – the biggest of all human sins – automatically foregoes all the earnings of his ‘punya karmas’ and becomes liable to receive the harshest of all the punishments from me.

Now, let me explain everything more clearly to you taking you as example, Chandra..

If you ever commit suicide, just in case you do, I shall immediately order my Cosmic Police to take you into their custody and serve you the harshest of all the punishments, in vogue in hell, for damaging my property – the human body.

Obeying my orders, the Police shall take you into their custody and punish you the way I ordered them to do.. After that, you shall remain in their custody, receiving all the harshest punishments from them, as long as I originally wanted you to remain as a soul in your body.

For example, if I wanted you to reside in a particular body for seventy human years and you killed yourself at the age of forty, then, you shall remain in our custody for the rest of the thirty years that you are supposed to reside, as a living soul, in that human body.

By forcibly killing yourself, you may have destroyed your human body, however, your soul shall remain alive as long as it is so destined to remain in that human body.. Tragically, as part of the punishment in the Police custody, your soul will be shown the life of your family members, post your death.

During that process, you will be seeing your parents breaking down; you will be seeing your wife fainting; you will be seeing your two lovely daughters weeping inconsolably.

You will also be seeing them going through many agonizing phases of a sorrow filled life, missing you each and every moment of their existence.. And seeing them so, your soul shall break down into pieces and would go through unmentionable agony.

You shall weep with them, break down with them and also faint with them but would only be doing all that, here, in our custody.. It is then and then and then that you wish to go back.. Come what may, go back to that home.. Your sweet home.. To your sweet family..

But you can’t.. You try.. You still try.. But you still can’t.. Then you pray for your release..

All that you seek from the Cosmos, at that moment, is life just life to spend with your beloveds.. All the so called human problems, for which you have committed suicide, appear so trivial to you here.. Still nothing happens.. No one listens to you, Chandra.

Then, you bang your head, pray to me; beg everyone here.. But that will be too late, Chandra.. Once you come here there won’t be any going back to you..

Huhhhhh.. This is going to be the life here after death, Chandra, for a human being who commits suicide..

Now tell me Chandra.. What do you want to do..??.. Live or die..?? If you want to live, I shall send you back to Chennai.. You can lead your life there from where you have left..

If you want to ‘die’ I shall immediately release you from my “Digbandhanam’ and you shall, in one by tenth of a second, fall directly into that deep valley of death and disappear.

Tell me Chandra.. What do you want.. Life or Death..???”.

The Bhagawan paused..

Kept looking at Chandra..

In all silence..


In all stillness..

The winds, however, were moving restlessly..

So were the other living creatures on the Tirumala Hills..

The time had forgot it’s timing..


Realized it’s mistake..

And started moving slowly..

Counting every step..

One.. Twooo.. Threee.. Fourrrrr.. Five.. Sixxxx.. Sevennnnnn..

And exactly in the Eighth second..

Chandra opened his mouth..

And looking straight at the Bhagawan..

Without any fear in his eyes..


“Swamy, Daasarathe Karunaa Payonidhee, by telling me in detail about the painful life after suicide, you have clearly given me a warning about the consequences of a suicide.. Thank you for that Swamy..

However, Swamy, I have seen a more punishing life here on Earth.. Now, I have lost all the ability to fight.. Even to think.. Not any more Swamy.. I prefer to reign in holy hell than to serve on this sin filled Earth that is full of unholy filth.

Please Swamy.. Please understand my agony and grant me death.. Please release me from this ‘Digbandhanam’.. I shall forever be thankful to you”

Chandra concluded, with tears in his eyes and with folded hands.

Looking at Chandra,

Bhagawan smiled gently and said, “Dear Chandra, despite hearing so much from me, about life after suicide, you still have the courage to tell me you want to die.. Appreciate.. If that is your decision, Chandra, then who am I to stop you.. I shall certainly grant you death..

However, before that, I want you to answer three simple and straight questions.. After listening to them, if you still want to die, I have no problem.. Are you ready Chandra..??”

“Do I have an option Swamy..??” Chandra quickly asked..

“You don’t, but it’s my duty to ask you, Chandra”, Bhagawan too quickly replied.

As though they know what questions the Bhagawan is about to ask Chandra, all the Gods and Goddesses, who were all silently watching all the drama that was taking place in front of their divine eyes on the sacred Tirumala hills, have turned completely serious and started observing everything from thereon, with stunning silence.

Alerting Chandra, the Bhagawan asked the first question.

“Chandra, in her daily prayers to Me, your beloved wife Chethana, holds her Mangala Sutra close to her forehead; closes her eyes; and silently prays to me, saying,

“Perumaalappaa, my husband is a very innocent person.. A very loving person too.. He’s the nucleus of our family, the light of our life and the source of our living.. Please grant him long life and we shall live happily forever”.

Chethana is my ardent devotee, Chandra, and has immense belief in Me.. In fact, more belief than you have in me.. Now, tell me Chandra what answer you want Me to give your wife and I shall certainly grant you death”.

Chandra didn’t utter a word..

Just remained silent.

Continuing His questioning, the Bhagawan shot the second question.

“While coming out of your house, early in the morning today, you have paused at your main gate and offered your Namaskar to the idol of Ganesa there.. While doing so, you also said,

Ganesha, you failed me in everything that I did in my life.. At least now, in this last effort of my life, please make me successful..

But you know what Chandra.. Your Mother lights an oil lamp in front of that same Ganesa everyday and while lighting so, tells Him,

“Gaja Vadanaa O’ Subha Charanaa, hey Parvati Nandana, my son is the light of this house.. I may or may not be there tomorrow.. But please keep my son bright and alive forever and I shall remain ever grateful to you”.

Now, tell me Chandra, what answer you want me to give your Mother and I shall certainly grant you death”.

Chandra didn’t utter a word..

Didn’t even open his mouth..

Observing Chandra’s predicament,

The Bhagawan asked him the third and the final question,

“While you were silently coming out of your bedroom in the morning today, you paused at the entrance, because, you noticed a beautiful pink colored cardboard paper in the hands of your daughter, Chaitra.. You found something pictographically designed on it.. You were so tempted to go back and see what your cute little daughter had written on it..

However, Chandra, you didn’t go back as you were afraid your wife may wake up.. But do you know, Chandra, what your twin daughters, who both together have designed that beautiful pink colored cardboard paper, have written on it.

“Dear cutest, sweetest, the best and the most beautifullest Dad in the world.. Wish you a very happy birthday.. May our beloved Lord Perumal bless you with ten thousand years of happy life.. With loads of love and tons of wishes.. Yours forever, Chaitra and Chitra”

Today is your birthday, Chandra, and your cute daughters are praying to me to offer you ten thousand years of life.. Now, tell me what answer you want me to give them and I shall certainly grant you death”.


At this point..

The poor Chandra could not hold himself any more..

Breaking down into unstoppable tears..

He wept loudly..

The Bhagawan just remained looking at Chandra..

In all silence..


In all stillness..

So was every divine angel there..

After weeping inconsolably so, for almost two minutes, Chandra had slowly composed himself; lifted his head; and looking straight at the Bhagawan, said,

“Swamy O’ Jagadananda Kaaraka, hey Jaya Janaki Prana Nayaka.. Except family what is that I have today, Swamy.. How will I take care of them after losing my everything in life.. How will I even feed them when in a few days from now am going to lose all my properties and ending up on roads.

If I die today, my properties will be with my family and at least they can have a happy tomorrow so what am not there.. They may at the most weep for me for a few months.. After that they shall completely forget me and move on in their life.

But what is that I have to live for today, Swamy.. What is there for me to live.. Neither life nor properties.. And what is that you have left for me to live.. So please grant me death”.

At this crucial point,

Bhagawan Sri Venkateswara – with all the seriousness in the seven Vyarthi lokas of Satya, Tapa, Jana, Mahar, Svar, Bhuvar, Bhur and the seven Paataala lokas of Atala, Vitala, Sutala, Talatala, Mahatala, Rasatala and Paatala – had told Chandra with a slightly anger filled tone,

“That’s what am trying to convey you, all this while Chandra, but you are not even trying to catch what am conveying.. You are asking me what is there left for you to live today and am asking you to go back to Chennai and start your life from where you have left it..

But you are not catching my point.. Are you..?? At least do you remember where you have left your life in Chennai, Chandra, and what led to your decision of leaving your family and commit suicide.. ??”

A shocked Chandra, stunned with the sudden change in the tone of Bhagawan, replied with a fear filled voice,

“No Swamy, am sorry, I don’t remember”..

In an irritated tone this time,

The Bhagawan said, “that’s the problem with you humans, Chandra.. You just get carried away by whatever people around you say.. And without verifying the facts you even arrive at conclusions and also resort to such extreme measures of killing your own self.. Is doing so correct Chandra..??

Let me explain you everything more clearly now..

Last night, at about 10.30, you received a call from a person by name Siva Sankar Pillai from Delhi.. He is secretary to a central minister there.. He’s handling your two hundred crores project in that ministry.. You are pinning all your hopes on this project.

Because, if you bag this project not only will you be able to regularize all your loan accounts with the banks but will also be able to consolidate your financial position in a big way.. In a way, you would become the uncrowned king of your business world in Chennai.

The crooked Siva Sankar knows this point well and was exploiting you all these days collecting large amounts of money from you, telling you that he would get that project sanctioned from the ministry in your favor.

Last night, he called you and asked you to immediately transfer five lakh rupees to his relative’s account in Kerala.. You didn’t give as you don’t have that money to give.. Then, he quietly told you, ‘sorry to say Chandra Narayan this project may not be awarded to you’.

With a broken heart that you are losing your last hope – your project – you just sat down, wrote your suicide letter on a blue colored paper, kept it in a red colored cover and placed it in the drawer of your writing table in your bedroom and closed it.

You know your wife would be opening that drawer and check it just in case she doesn’t find you the next morning.. Therefore, you have written on the cover, ‘to dear Chethana – my beloved – this is my last letter to you’.

But do you know, Chandra, what exactly had happened last night in Delhi and what exactly had happened to Siva Sankar Pillai after he disconnected your call.

Let me explain you everything clearly.

Just about 9.30 pm last night,

Your file for the two hundred crores project was placed on the minister’s table for final approval.. Based on the goodwill of your company and also your credentials, the minister was about to sign the file and accord you the sanction.

But, using this opportunity, Siva Sankar had tried to squeeze five lakhs from you and when you pleaded your helplessness, he just lied to you saying you may not get the project.. But the fact here is, Chandra, the project is already sanctioned to you.

But what happened..?? With that small lie, spoken by an unscrupulous person like Siva Sankar, you have almost ended your life today.. What would have happened to you if I had not stopped you today.

Now, let me tell you what had happened to Siva Sankar Pillai after he disconnected your call, last night.. After disconnecting the call, Siva Sankar boarded his Car and started driving back home..

While he was crossing the traffic signal in the Bahadur Shah Zafar Marg in Delhi, a speeding vehicle, with drunken youth inside, had come from a by lane, broke the signal, and hit Siva Sankar’s car with the same speed.

With his ribs damaged and legs broken, Siva Sanakar ended up in a corporate hospital in Delhi.. But don’t worry, Chandra, he will lie in the bed in the hospital for a month and go home.

However, he’s going to pay ten lakhs as bill to that hospital, for treatment, which is exactly double the amount he had demanded from you.. But you know what happened immediately after Siva Sankar met with accident, Chandra..??

My celestial vehicle, Garuda, on my instructions, had reached the accident area, in the next second, and through the broken glasses of the car, told Siva Sankar,

“Siva Sankar, you have tried to exploit Chandra Narayan’s innocence and demanded five lakhs from him.. Poor fellow where will he get that money from, when he’s already so broke.. Then, without even thinking about the consequences you have just lied to him that he’s losing the project whereas you know he’s going to get it

By doing so, Siva Sankar, you have given unbearable pain to an innocent man like Chandra.. Bhagawan Sri Venkaateswara is upset with you and had decided to punish you.. So you met with this accident today.. Chandra may commit suicide with your fake words tomorrow. So it is now your turn to save him..

In a few minutes from now, you will be losing your consciousness and will be shifted to a nearby hospital.. You shall remain so, in an unconscious condition, for the next forty eight hours..

However, the holy Lord shall grant you consciousness for five minutes at exactly 8 am tomorrow morning.. At that time, call Chandra and tell him that the project is sanctioned to him.. Or else you shall die on the hospital bed”

Saying so, Garuda had disappeared from that accident place.. Now, I have explained you everything, Chandra, and releasing you from the ‘Digbandhanam’ as well.. You are free to go home.. You shall receive a call from Siva Sankar at 8 am tomorrow telling you the project is sanctioned to you.

Finally, Chandra, remember one important point.. I shall never disappoint my devotees and shall never let them down.. I shall also save them in problems if not from problems..

I shall also keep a watch on all my devotees’ detractors and punish them at an appropriate time whenever they, either advertently or inadvertently, cause any pain to my devotees.

I have given you a beautiful family, Chandra, so I shall also be giving you a beautiful life.. So never worry about anything in life again.. Am always with you.. Now, it’s time for me to go to Vaikunta.. My blessings are always there with you.. Happy birthday Chandra.. Live long happily with your wife and children”.

Saying so, the Akhilanda Koti Brahmanda Nayaka Bhagawan Sri Venkateswara Swamy varu had released Chandra from the ‘Digbandhanam’..

Weeping loudly, Chandra Naryan quickly ran towards the direction, where Bhagawan was appearing at that moment, bent down on his knees and started reciting the following verses from his favorite Sri Venkateswara Vajra Kavacha Sthothram.

Narayanam Parabrahma Sarvakaarana Kaaranam.. Prapathye Venkatesakhyaam Tadeva Kavacham Mama.. Sahasra Seersha Purush Venkatesassirovatu.. Pranesha Prananilayaha
Pranan Rakshatu Mey Harihi 

Impressed with Chandra’s recitation, Bhagawan had lifted His right hand and blessed him.. While doing so, He slowly turned His head and with a gentle smile dancing on His coral lips looked at all the members of His Cosmic team seated around Him.

Understanding their Supreme Commander’s smiling signal, all the Gods and Goddesses, Celestial Singers – Narada and Tumbura – the Angels, the Yakshas, the Gandharvas, the Kinneras, the Kimpurushas and all the holy sages and saints, in one voice have blessed Chandra.

“Sathamanam bhavathi satayuh purushah satendriyah aayusyevendriye prati tishtathi”

Chandra just could not control his emotions..

Could not control his tears..

With his heart filled with gratitude..

He slowly prostrated before the holy Lord..


With utmost reverence..


Closed his eyes..

And remained so..

Praying to the Lord..


After about two minutes..

Chandra slowly opened his eyes..

He couldn’t understand where he was that moment..

Slowly turned his head and looked around..

He first noticed a dim light around him..

Then noticed a soothing silence..

Then, noticed his body was full of sweat..

Then, heard some sound..

At this point..

He realized it was the sound of a machine..

After a few seconds..

He realized..

It was..

The sound of..




He realized..

He was lying on his bed..

In his bedroom..

Then, he understood everything..

Understanding so..

He quickly got up from the bed..


At that moment..

His bedroom door was opened and his two lovely twin daughters, Chaitra and Chitra, came giggling and pounced upon Chandra and started kissing him all over his face, shouting, “Happy birthday Daddy”.

Hugging them both Chandra said, “thank you darlings”.. Then, Chaitra took out a beautiful pink colored cardboard paper from her bag and handing it over to Chandra, said,”this is for you Dad.. Open it and read it”..

Chandra slowly opened it.. He first saw his image drawn by his daughters along with an image of Lord Venkateswara.. He then found the following cute lines written on that paper by his daughters..

“Dear cutest, sweetest, the best and the most beautifullest Dad in the world.. Wish you a very happy birthday.. May our beloved Lord Perumal bless you with ten thousand years of happy life.. With loads of love and tons of wishes.. Yours forever, Chaitra and Chitra”

With tears rolling down his cheeks, Chandra hugged both his daughters with all the warmth and affection in the world..

At that very moment, Chandra’s wife Chethana and his Mother and Father entered the room and holding Chandra’s right hand have greeted him saying, “happy birthday Chandroone”

Thanking them with tears, Chandra quickly bent down and touched his parents feet.. Then, he turned to his wife and hugged her and kissed her on her forehead..

After a couple of minutes

Chandra requested everyone to please leave the room saying, “please give me five minutes, I shall join you”..

After everyone had left the room, Chandra locked the door from inside and slowly walked towards the portrait of Lord Sri Venkateswara in his room and silently offered Him his prayers.

Then, came back and switched on his mobile..

Exactly after two minutes, his phone started ringing..

He checked who was calling..

“Siva Sankar Pillai calling”

Was what he found on the display screen..

Chandra quickly turned his head and looked at the wall clock..

It was showing 8 am..

Then, he quietly picked up that call..

Siva Sankar said,

“Chandra, am so sorry Chandra.. I have lied to you last night.. The project is already sanctioned to you and you shall receive an official mail from the ministry in the next couple of days..

Lord Venkateswara had punished me badly for giving you false information.. I met with an accident last night while returning home and am on hospital bed now.. Congratulations Chandra.. All the best.. I will talk to you later”

In a cold tone, Chandra said,

“Just hang on Siva Sankar sir.. You met with an accident at the Bahadur Shah Zafar Marg signal, last night.. While you were lying on the road, a giant bird came to you and spoke to you through your broken car glasses and told you why you met with that accident.

That is Lord Garuda, Siva Sankar sir, the celestial vehicle of Lord Venkateswara.. Always remain thankful to the holy Lord.. He had just warned you but not killed you.. At least from now on lead a pious life and help the needy.. The Lord will protect you and your family”

Saying so, Chandra, disconnected the call..


Slowly walked towards his writing table..

That is there..

In the corner of that room..


Opened the drawer..

Took out a sealed red cover from it..

With the letters..

‘To dear Chethana – my beloved – this is my last letter to you’

Written on it..

He then..

Opened the seal..

Took out the blue colored letter..

Read it..


Folded it..

Walked quietly into the bathroom..

Torn that cover and letter into pieces..

Had thrown them into the commode..

Pressed the flush button.


Stood there..


The blue and red colored..

Torn pieces..

Going down..

The drain..

“Om sirasi vajra kireetam.. Vadane sasi varna prakasam.. Phaale kastoori sri gandha tilakam.. Karne vajra kundala sobhitham.. 

Naasikaayaam suvaasika pushpadalam.. Nayane sasi mandala prakasam..Kante suvarana pushpa maalaa alankritam.. Hridaye srinivasa mandiram

Kare karunaa bhaya saagaram.. Bhuje sankha chakra gadhaadharam.. Skande suvarna yagnopaveeta bhooshanam..

Sarvaange swarna peethambara dharam.. Paade parama ananda roopam.. Sarva paapa nivarakam.. Sarvam swarna mayam..

Naama paavanam Sri Venkatesam.. Srinivasam.. Tirumalesam.. Namami Sri Venkatesam” – Sri Venkateswra Divya Varnana Sthothram


Narrenaditya Komaragiri



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